pretty privilege is a thing.

date: 03/25/2025

This entry feels very vain but it’s on my heart so here we go.

“it’s tough being as gorgeous and grounded as you are” - LaTonia.

In one of many wellness calls from my big sister, we talked about some things that were heavy on my heart. How I perceived mistreatment from people that were supposed to be closest to me and my feelings were so raw. When I feel things, they tend to be deep and raw and I have a hard time getting over them. Shoutout to my sisterfriends and my man for listening to me cry and try to cope with the same things over and over again. Y'all are actually God’s strongest soldiers.

I’m pretty self-conscious (please don’t yell at me). Like yes, I know I'm pretty but unfortunately, I don't see it the way everyone else sees it. LaTonia reminds me how gorgeous I am constantly. My man looks at me like I’m the best thing since sliced bread. Chloe reminds me how I command every room I enter with my beauty (and don’t even know it). And people from high school get snarky when I deny the baddie claims.

I don’t feel like I have “baddie” beauty. I view my beauty more like “princess” beauty.

And I think some people recognize this and use it as their superpower against me. They’ve discovered my self conscience weakness and they use it against me. See friends copying your existence for themselves. But it takes me a while to recognize this because I don’t pay attention to vanity metrics. (that’s an appropriate statement for this right?) I pay attention to money and improving the work I do to get more of it.

as LaTonia says, “you’re so grounded in your humility that you don’t even notice how gorgeous you are”.

I’m one of those girls that gets gussied up for me. Not for compliments from men but to feel good about myself. While some get pretty and send their photos to their roster, I get pretty and send it to my friends, and now my man. It was never about other people’s approval, but it was always about the journey to a higher self. A version of me that can see the beauty in me that everyone else sees.

do I believe pretty privilege is a thing? yes. do I believe I benefit? yes.

I’ve been in restaurants and gotten free drinks. I’ve been able to skip boarding lines, get things discounted and comped. In my old days, I’ve gotten the random cash apps and venmos but I still didn’t think I was so breathtakingly beautiful like my friends make it seem. I feel like a princess when I get cute not like a baddie and maybe I just need to redefine what a baddie is to me.

I hang with confident friends and in the event that they don’t feel quite like themselves, they can count on me to be their biggest hype man. I’ll know I’m cute but I hang with baddies. Oh dear- I believe this is the part where my therapist would say something like “and don’t birds of a feather flock together?! So if you say you hang with baddies, why don’t you also consider yourself to be one?!” She would read me. Okay lady, I hear you.

I didn’t expect to read myself while writing so this entry will be shorter than I thought. But I will say that now that I see why people feel okay weaponizing my self-consciousness. I need to be more mindful about how vulnerable I am with them -and- be intentional about positive self talk and thinking highly of myself.

Until next time,

xoxo, just a very gorgeous gorgeous girl romanticizing her life. 🌹